Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Season 2 Wrap-Up

The Montreal Marauders claimed the World Series title with a 4-1 series win over the Kansas City Stockade. The NL now has both championship in this young league's history, and the titles have been split 1-1 between the United States and Canada.

Trade negotiations between the US and Canada have improved just in time for Marauders merchandise to freely be exported across the continent. Mexico is a bit more distant, hoping for a better performance from their Sombreros next season.

This new league for peace has been holding up so far, as the health of NAFTA continues to improve, albeit slowly. The future of this world is looking good, with 3 seasons to go until judgement day.

It was rumored that Canada offered a bet to the US where the winner of the World Series would get premium control of untapped oil reserves in Alaska. However, the United States declined, preferring traditional negotiation.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

With Season 2 upon us, it's time for my Predictions Almost Definitely Going To Be Wrong! Let's do this!

AL North
1. Kansas City Stockade
2. Minnesota Maulers
3. St. Louis River Runners
4. Milwaukee Bruisers

No surprise here. The Stockade will clean house once again.

AL East
1. New York Zoo
2. Philadelphia Scavenger Moths (wild card)
3. Boston Flowers
4. Pittsburgh Pistoleers

A division of haves (New York, Philadelphia) and have nots (Boston, Pittsburgh). This year, I think the Zoo finish on top.

AL South
1. Charlotte Colonials
2. Florida Sizzlers (wild card)
3. Atlanta Crackers
4. San Juan Sluggers

...what? At least it's not as self-serving as picking myself to win, like last season.

AL West
1. Vancouver Sasquatch
2. Seattle Metropolitans
3. Oakland Renegades (team #6000)
4. San Francisco Redskins

Okay, this year, I'm listening to orrdc and tossing San Fran into the cellar. Sasquatch stomp this division flat.

NL North
1. Toronto Toros
2. Montreal Marauders (wild card)
3. Chicago Red Devils
4. Detroit Faith

Don't like it? Blame Canada! New ace Edwin Graves allows Toronto to squeak past Montreal for the division title.

NL East
1. Cincinnati Lumberjacks
2. Cleveland Inferno
3. Washington D.C. Senators
4. Baltimore Blizzard

I could pick any random order for this division and it could feasibly happen. All of these teams are looking for their first ever .500 season.

NL South
1. Houston Honey Badgers
2. Oklahoma City Kingfishers (wild card)
3. Mexico City Sombreros
4. Texas Armadillos

The Kingfishers stole this one from the Honey Badger on a tiebreak last season. Don;t expect Stone Angle to allow that to happen again.

NL West
1. San Diego Aztecs
2. Arizona RainMakers
3. Los Angeles Original Gangsters
4. Honolulu Big Kahuna's

Hey, sorry Arizona, but there's only two wild cards. The defending champion Aztecs grab the crown, while the apostrophe holds down Honolulu.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Down the Stretch they come!

We're in the stretch run of Season 1 right now. Let's see what the situation is in each division.

AL North

The Kansas City Stockade (78-63) are running away with this one, holding a 14 game lead over the St. Louis River Runners (64-77). Milwaukee (59-82) and Minnesota (56-85) have been bruised and mauled all season. Better luck next season!

AL East

Philadelphia (91-50) and New York (91-50) have wreaked havoc on the entire AL this season. An ALDS clash is predestined between these two, barring an absolute collapse by the 5 seed in the playoffs. Pittsburgh (67-74) and Boston (53-88) are dreaming of better days.

AL South

The Charlotte Colonials (77-64) have brought out their muskets and taken control of the rabid AL South. The commissioner's Florida Sizzlers (70-71) have disappointed this season and their playoff hopes are slim at best. Atlanta (64-77) and San Juan (61-80) are being left in the dust.

AL West

The powerful Vancouver Sasquatch (83-58) have taken control of a tight AL West race with their rivals the Seattle Metropolitans (78-63). It's highly probable that both will make the playoffs, so the two might just get to settle the score in the ALDS. Oakland (66-75) and San Francisco (62-79) are currently embarrassing the fans in Northern California.

NL North

Fear Canada! The Montreal Marauders (91-50) have a commanding lead on the division, but the Toronto Toros (73-68) are still in the wild card hunt. The Chicago Red Devils (71-70) and Detroit Faith (69-72) should make it a tight race for the NL North's silver medal.

NL East

All we know for sure is that one mediocre team is going to make the playoffs from this division. Cincinnati (67-74) and Cleveland (65-76) will have a hot rivalry going this season, but it’s not going to be pretty. Washington D.C. (51-90) and Baltimore (40-101) might not understand how the game of baseball works.

NL South

The Honey Badger don’t care, he takes the NL South title. The Houston Honey Badgers (91-50) currently lead, but the Oklahoma City Kingfishers (87-54) are not making it easy for the internet meme to take what he wants. The Texas Armadillos (74-67) are still in the hunt for a wild-card berth as well, and the Mexico City Sombreros (65-76)…well…they have good enchiladas.

NL West

The Arizona RainMakers (87-54) have surprised by taking an 8 game lead over the wild card contending San Diego Aztecs (79-62). Maybe next, they’ll actually make rain appear in Arizona! Los Angeles (66-75) and Honolulu (60-81) are meanwhile floundering somewhere offshore.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Season 1 Predictions

Commissioner's picks (sure to go wrong!)

1st: Kansas City Stockade
2nd: Milwaukee Bruisers
3rd: Minnesota Maulers
4th: St. Louis River Runners

1st: Philadelphia Scavenger Moths
2nd: New York Zoo
3rd: Pittsburgh Pistoleers
4th: Boston Flowers

1st: Florida Sizzlers
2nd: Atlanta Crackers
3rd: San Juan Sluggers
4th: Charlotte Colonials

1st: Oakland Renegades
2nd: San Francisco Redskins
3rd: Vancouver Sasquatch
4th: Seattle Metropolitans

1st: Chicago Red Devils
2nd: Montreal Marauders
3rd: Toronto Toros
4th: Detroit Faith

1st: Cincinnati Lumberjacks
2nd: Baltimore Blizzard
3rd: Cleveland Inferno
4th: Washington D.C. Senators

1st: Houston Honey Badgers
2nd: Oklahoma City Kingfishers
3rd: Mexico City Sombreros
4th: Texas Armadillos

1st: San Diego Aztecs
2nd: Arizona RainMakers
3rd: Los Angeles Original Gangstas
4th: Honolulu Big Kahuna's

Other Notes:
The AL West looks tough. It might just grab both AL Wild Card berths!

The NL North might do the same in the NL. Chicago and the two Canadian teams look like real challengers.

Oakland is HBD franchise #6000, and I expect big things out of them!

I'm glad San Diego isn't named the Mayans, or their division title would end our world.

My favorite team names: Florida Sizzlers (duh), Cleveland Inferno, Oklahoma City Kingfishers, San Diego Aztecs. Also, the Inferno/Blizzard name rivalry in the NL East is amazing.

Let's play ball!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012


It is the year 2037. International relations between the United States, Canada, and Mexico are at their worst ever as the NAFTA is on the brink of destruction. MLB has suffered financially from the loss of interest in sports as doomsday rapidly approaches. Faced with what could become the biggest war in the continent's history, the Thome family proposed an unlikely peace treaty; baseball. A baseball league that would unite all three countries and be played under the banner of world peace. It seemed far-fetched at the time, but with other peace negotiations falling through, the countries agreed to give the league a fighting chance. It was agreed that the new world would have five seasons to achieve its goals. If it fails, the future will be grave...